Adopt A Baby Quickly Without An Adoption Agency
Do you want to adopt a baby in less than a year? And have you been searching for that magic wand that you can wave that will allow you to quickly move through your adoption journey, and have zero trauma for all involved and not drain your life savings?
No, my friend, that is something that we are oftentimes looking for as hopeful adoptive families. But I do want you to know that it is possible to adopt a baby in less than a year without the use of an adoption agency.
Now, I know that may sound a little controversial, and people automatically always assume that I am anti-agency as a result of that. But it's actually not the case at all.
You see, I have found a replicable process and my clients have used to match their adoptions in less than a year. And they've used this process with adoption agencies and without adoption agencies.
But let me just give a few important disclaimers around adoption agencies. First, again, I am not anti-adoption agency at all. As a matter of fact, I think there's a great role for adoption agencies in the adoption ecosystem. But I am anti-bad adoption agencies. And boy, let me tell you, there are some really awful ones out there.
I have come across dozens, if not close to 100 agencies that really just want to take your money and let you sit on the list forever, and charge your renewal fees. And they're really not going out and helping you actively find someone to match with. And those are the types of adoption agencies that honestly I don't find much value in.
Second, I do think that adoption agencies have a real role to play when it comes to providing social services for the expectant family. Now, not using an agency is not an excuse for not supporting your expectant family in the ways that they need to be supported. And oftentimes, agencies have social workers on staff, and have experts in social services like Medicare, food stamps, and things of that nature, that really will help someone through the adoption process. You see, it's really important that not only are they supported with the services that they need, the counseling resources they need, and also really kind of forming a plan for their life after they place this child for adoption.
And the third reason why I am definitely not anti-adoption agencies is that I use them in my own adoptions. Now, I was fortunate enough to choose a reputable agency, I was worked enough to be kind of steered into that direction. Whenever I was doing my initial research, however, I went into some serious debt in order to bring home my children.
Now, of course, I would never change that for the world, because I love my children with all of my heart and soul. But it does break my heart, when people show up in my DMs or in my inbox and say,
"Listen, I want to adopt a baby, but I just simply can't afford $80,000 to adopt a baby, what can I do? And are my dreams gone? Should I just hang it up and just assume that I'm never going to be a mother? Or do I have to automatically default to foster care, even if I don't feel best equipped to parent, because I can't afford any other type of adoption."
Adoption Matching Formula
And that is why I created a replicable system for people to follow. And for people to be able to use to match without the assistance of an adoption agency. Or maybe without the assistance of one of those big agencies that cost $80,000. It could also be the kind of the roadmap that you could use yourself with one of those smaller agencies as well.
So I've broken the process of adopting a baby down into really kind of three phases, whatever you're trying to match on your own. And I've called this the adoption matching formula, because why not everything needs a name, right. So let's talk about each of the three phases and give you just kind of an overview of what you do in each of the three phases.
Phase 1
Okay, so phase number one is the prepared family phase. In this phase, we're doing all of the preparations for the journey ahead of you thus the name right. So we're doing things like deciding what type of adoption is right for you. We're gonna get really clear on itself matching the right way is agency assisted. The right way is a full-service agency attorney consultant. There are a whole host of different types of adoption that you could choose. And I highly recommend that you choose multiple types of adoption, because therefore you are actually pushing yourself further along in the journey.
The second step in this phase is really focusing on the legal aspect of things, understanding the laws in your state, and finding an adoption attorney that can help guide you through the process if you are choosing something along the lines of agency assisted or even self-matching your adoption.
The third step is deciding what other partners you need in your adoption journey. So based upon the type of adoption you're pursuing, you may decide you want an adoption, trauma-informed counselor that walks alongside you and your birth parents, there may be other resources that you need from a social workers perspective, like helping them apply for social services that can help support them before, during and after placement of the child.
Then once you've decided what type of adoption you need, and what partners you're going to need, and really kind of get a rough idea of the cost of those partners, then you want to move into creating your budget, right, and then creating yourself a financial plan of how you're actually going to deliver that budget.
And so just making up for conversation sake, if you say, Okay, this adoption is going to cost me $20,000. And I have $10,000. In savings, I need to come up with a way to close that gap. You need resources, like grants, fundraisers, loans, or information about tax credits. Those types of things really help you bring it all together, and make you feel way less overwhelmed.
Phase 2
Next, you're going to move into the home study phase. This is where you're actually, you know, filling out all of the paperwork, doing the home visits, and the home inspection and the interviews so that you can become a real live waiting family, it is important to note that just because I'm listing out the steps in this order, doesn't mean that I don't suggest that you kind of overlap some of these steps, because that will help you save time.
As a matter of fact, when you follow kind of a proven path, if you will, and exact steps laid out for you that way, you can actually accomplish this section or this phase of the adoption process within four to six weeks. Now, of course, you can definitely make it take longer if you're not really putting yourself in the driver's seat, and staying on top of all the details that are to come.
Okay. So now let's talk about the second phase of the adoption process, which is the family connection phase. And again, this is something that I would actually suggest that you overlap with your home study phase, because you can make things go by more quickly by doing that, and it not be overwhelming. But in the family connection phase, it is really focused around creating a connection with an expected family. And of course, in order to do that, you've got to create an adoption profile, understand what types of adoption profile you need, and how to create a profile that creates an emotional connection. But that's really kind of the first step.
The second step is where you're going to actually be focused on sharing that profile. Right? Now, you don't really want to start sharing your profile until after your home study is completed. But you want to make sure that you're ready to share at the instant that your home study is completed.
Phase 3
And then third, you're going to connect with unexpected failure, you're going to match with an expectant family, and you want to be prepared. What does that look like? What are those conversations like? Because let me tell you, I oftentimes hear it described as the most important first date of the rest of your life, right? No offense to partners out there. But having that initial conversation, really go well and forming a relationship to make sure that you're a good fit for each other is really, really critical to the overall matching process of your adoption journey.
And this phase is the phase where, you know, it can take months, and in some cases, it can take years, if you don't have the right type of adoption profile. If you aren't sharing your profile enough, you really aren't putting yourself in the driver's seat. I will tell you, I have some clients that match in as little as two weeks. I have some clients that match in five months, but 95% of my clients match around a year.
And that is because they're really following a step-by-step process and consistently taking action that helps them move forward and ultimately connect with someone in the adoption journey that leads them to the last phase, which is the Forever Family phase. And in the Forever Family phase, you're doing what you would expect to be doing at this point, right? You are really kind of forming those relationships leading up to the birth of the child, you have completed that initial legal paperwork, the baby is going to be born, and then you're going to navigate that hospital time, all the way to finalization.
And those steps are going to look slightly differently, obviously based upon every type of journey that you're on, as well as the state that you live in to because some hos are some states you know, it's final upon immediate signature and other states you know, you have a bit longer of a waiting period.
But don't worry, I have tons of resources on adoption law by state. Matter of fact, I have tons of other podcasts and YouTube videos that you can go and watch and learn about my state. I would highly suggest that you do that as part of the research phase. So that you not only do you know the laws in your state, but you also get to know what the laws are like in the states that you are considering adopting from because you may decide that you know what, I don't want to wait around for six months for the adoption to be finalized, or I don't want this adoption that's irrevocable upon signature, right, so you really want to go out and do your research on that.
Now listen, I know all of this sounds like a ton of work. After all, there are phases and steps and things get a little muddy and confusing. And sometimes it can be rather overwhelming. But I want you to know, it is worth it my friend, you can follow a step-by-step process to achieve your dreams for just about anything, including adopting a baby and becoming a parent.
It is the hardest thing that I've ever done, but it is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. Remember, I'm here with you every single step of the way. And I will continue sharing step-by-step processes and points of inspiration for you along your journey so that you know you have the support to reach your goals.
In next week, I'm going to be interviewing a couple that actually matched their adoption themselves in five months. But in the meantime, check out this video because I know it's really going to help you today. I'll see you soon friend
