Adoption Self-Matching Process Step 1 Legal, Financial and Home Study Overview
In our next series, we’re starting to break down the four phases of self-matching your adoption. In this blog post, we’ll be discussing the steps in phase one… becoming a waiting family.
Self matching your adoption can seem pretty overwhelming because there are a lot of steps. That's honestly the reason why most people kind of default to an agency environment and/or consultant so that they can go and find the expected parents for them and do all the legwork.
I'm going to teach you each of the steps. To not overwhelm you, I'm going to break it into four phases.
The first phase we're going to focus on is becoming a family.
Before we dive in, though, I want to give you just a moment of encouragement because self-matching can be hard. It can be incredibly discouraging because you think this is not in your zone of genius or this is not my area of expertise. There is so much to do. All of those things are true friend, I'm not going to lie to you and I'm not going to sugarcoat it to you, but you can do anything you want as long as you have the right plan and support.
I'm going to help give you the plan and I'm going to help support you. Then I'm going to suggest that you find other professionals in the adoption space to surround yourself for your self-matching journey. That is really the secret to saving yourself tens of thousands of dollars and not having to wait years. You can do it under budget and with people you trust and respect.
All you have to do is put a little bit of sweat equity into it, be creative, and be a self-starter. I know you’re here because you’re researching and you’re learning. I believe anything’s possible, you just have to keep going.
Anytime you need some encouragement, feel free to jump on over to the My Adoption Coach Facebook group. We have posts specifically designed every week for encouragement. I remember walking through my own journey being tough and I needed someone to sometimes just shine a light ahead of me and show me the path and tell me I could do it.
3 Steps to Becoming a Waiting Family
Step 1: Legal Research
Doing legal research is one of the most important steps in your self-matching journey.
Note: I am not an attorney and I don’t give legal advice, period. I’m an adoptive mom who can read and make my own judgments.
Do some online research and then consult a professional. You need an adoption lawyer. Don’t skimp on this step just to try to save money.
Step 1 A: Make sure it’s legal in your state.
The first step in doing your legal research is to determine that self-matching is actually legal in your state. It is not legal in all states. Look for language around advertising. If they say that it’s prohibited for adoptive families to advertise, it’s most likely not legal to self-match in your state.
Step 1 B: Figure out the revocation period in your state and the state you’re adopting in
The next step is to figure out what the revocation period is in your state AND the state you’re adopting in. The revocation period is the time that the expected parents have to change their mind about the adoption after the birth of the baby.
If you are looking to do a little bit of research on your own, before you consult with professionals, make sure you jump on over to my Facebook group. In there, I have a link to all 50 of the state statutes.
If you're looking for a guide on what to ask an attorney about self-matching, I have a resource called The Ultimate Guide to Self Matching your Adoption to help you further.
Step 2: Create Your Financial Plan
Finances are the biggest reason people choose to self-match. You can save tens of thousands of dollars choosing this adoption method. You need to create your financial plan and then decide if self-matching is the right route you should take.
You might surprise yourself and be able to work up to a budget where you feel comfortable using an adoption agency, adoption consultant, or adoption attorney to match you with expecting families. You never know until you do the math and create a financial plan.
When I created our financial plan for our adoption journeys, I figured out all of the things we’d need to spend on during the adoption process and created a spreadsheet. Then I started working through how to pay for each step of the journey and what we needed to do to get the money.
I have a resource about all of the ways to fund your adoption inside my Facebook group.
The biggest piece of advice I could give you is to be intentional with your plan. A lot of people think they can just pay the cost the agency asks for upfront and figure out how to pay for the rest as the expense comes up. There are some unknown costs like your birth mother expenses that are hard to judge and fly by the seat of your pants with and you’re going to have to figure out a way to come up with those funds and have them ready to go when you find a match.
Most of the time, when you find a match, and you're working through the legal paperwork side of things, you're going to have to pay for those fees pretty much overnight.
So overnight, you're going to have to be prepared to pay $10,000 to $15,000.
I counsel my clients on is understanding their financial situation, what they feel comfortable doing, and what they feel like they can do. Then have a plan to work on how to get to that number. You don’t want to get caught up in a situation where you have the opportunity to adopt a baby and then you don’t have the funds.
I have tons of research and resources about this in the Facebook group.
Step 3: Home Study Approval
Most people want to start here, but you don’t need to waste your time (or money) on a home study right off the bat. You need to do it after you do your legal research and construct your financial plan.
You want to do a home study that’s approved by your state, the state you’re adopting in, and the adoption agency, etc. If you waste your time and money on a home study and then the agency or attorney you’re using wants you to do something different, you’re going to have to do a second home study and pay for it again.
First and foremost, do not be scared by the home study. Your home study is going to consist of a couple of different steps.
1. Background checks and references
2. Mountain of Paperwork
Resources to help you with your home study:
Additional Resources to Help You Self-Match your Adoption
If you’re looking for more resources on self-matching your adoption, don’t forget to check out these:
The Ultimate Guide to Self-Matching Your Adoption - Inside this program, I walk you through every step of the self-matching process and share a ton of resources including an Excel workbook to create your financial plan and teach you how to run a super-profitable fundraiser.
My Adoption Coach Facebook Group - this is a Free Facebook group that is full of encouragement and motivation for you during your adoption journey.
Remember anything is possible with the right plan and support and I have always got your back! Talk to you soon friend!
Hi, I Am Amanda
I help women build their families through adoption by giving them the step by step guide to adopt a child and support them on their journey