The adoption waiting period is horribly painful. 

Listen, my friend, I know it feels; like you've been in this sprint to become a waiting family. Maybe you went and did the research and figured out whether or not you will self-match your adoption. Or maybe you worked with an adoption agency and then you went through the home-study process and conquered that mountain of paperwork. Then you went through the whole process of creating your adoption profile and you feel like all the while you’ve been talking to people and getting everything together, now it feels like crickets. For me, it did.

I know that was the point that I started distracting myself by going out and shopping for a baby that didn’t exist yet. I was looking for the cute blankets and outfits. I was trying to find all the things that I might need. I started a secret Pinterest board. You know the one we all have, right? Where we store everything that we might want for the baby’s nursery. If it’s a boy, I’m going to decorate it this way. If it’s a girl, I’m going to do these things. Listen, I remember this. I went through it twice. I’ve helped over 1,000 people through this exact same process as well.

I know what you need when that phone call happens. 

The first thing you need is actually going to be a really fun project. But it’s stuff that’s really important because you don’t want to miss out on an opportunity because you’re not ready. So the very first thing you need to have is called your adoption go bag. This is literally what you have ready to walk with you out the door to go care for a baby in as little as ten minutes. Having those materials and those supplies together is really important. 

One dynamic that you’ve got to think about is that you’re not necessarily bringing the baby home to your house for a while. It could be anywhere from a week to three weeks, and you’ve got to be prepared to care for the baby throughout that entire time. That’s the reason why having an adoption go bag is critically important. So let’s talk about what goes inside that go bag so that you are ready the instant you get that phone call.

So, we're going to break down these items that you need in a few categories. Now I'm not going to give you recommendations on specific items to get because, honestly, I feel like there are so many new things that come out all the time that you can find those things easily yourself. But I want you to think about the different categories of the things that you need in order to care for a baby in a hotel room, because that's likely where you're going to be for the first little bit. 

What To Include In Your Adoption Go Bag

Diapering supplies 

You’re going to need diapers, wipes, creams. I would also suggest that you have something to put down underneath the baby to protect them from whatever surface you may have to lay them on and to protect the surface. That can be as easy as a towel that you lay down, or it could be an actual changing pad.

Feeding supplies

You’ve got to be able to feed this child. There are many different options as it relates to feeding. You can bottle feed or you can breastfeed. Yes, it’s actually an option to induce lactation in yourself so that you can actually feed this child through a breast milk method. Whichever route you choose, you want to think through the tools that you will need.

In my instance, we chose to bottle feed our children. So we needed a couple of different types of bottles, because we weren’t sure which type would actually work best for the baby. We needed formula. I kept the babies on the hospital plan to start, just to see if that would work for them. In my daughter’s case, it worked swimmingly. My son had a milk allergy, so that wasn’t an option. We went through a lot of trial and error on different formulas. So when it comes to formulas, don’t think you need to take a million different options with you. Just take one option with you or plan to start with what the hospital suggests, then see how that does for the baby and plan to go to the store.

Next you cannot forget that since you're caring for a baby on the road, you're not going to have supplies like bottle brushes and detergents, unless you plan ahead and decide that's important. Also, there may be a factor here of how much stuff you want to take with you based on the way you’re traveling. With both of my children, I was fortunate enough that we were able to drive to our destination. But with some of my clients, they have to fly because they’re going across the country. So we talked about strategies where you can actually use baby equipment rental companies in different locations for things like steamers and sanitizers, cribs, etc.

The other thing I would suggest as it sort of relates to feeding and soothing, is actually pacifiers. Now, again, this is something that you may or may not want to use depending on your child-rearing philosophies. It’s a personal choice. But if you intend to take pacifiers, my recommendation would be to take a couple of different types to try, and take multiples of each. You also want to make sure you bring burping clothes. When I was learning to bottle feed it was a new experience as a first-time mom and it took a little bit to get the bottle in there the right way so we didn’t have extra spillage. So having a burp cloth to protect the baby’s clothing was really helpful.

Sleep supplies

When it comes to sleep, the first thing I want you to think about is how do I prepare them for sleep? They need some jammies, they need some type of bath wash and a towel to wrap them up in. I highly suggest you get one of those really easily foldable cushions that you can put down in a sink, especially for a newborn. I found this flower thing that worked great, because each of the petals were individual and you could move them around and they were thick foam so it protected the baby from actually touching anything that might have been in the sink. But it also gave them a warm place to be. Something that I would do is take that little flower and throw it in the dryer and just let it get warm (not hot). Then I would put that down in the sink as I was running the warm water. So that would keep the baby from having that cold, shocking experience when placed in the sink. Then I had the things like their towels, washcloth, and baby soap. You don’t have to take full size bottles, you can put them into travel size containers. Then once the baby was washed and in their cozy jammies with a fresh bottom on, they were ready to go into their safe sleeping environment.

So a portable bassinet is a really great tool for this. It doesn’t have to be the thing you’re going to use once you get home. It could be something simple that collapses together. In our case, we found this little bassinet that quite literally looks like a rectangle with fabric and a little bit of padding that we could just put on any flat level surface and we knew that baby was safe there.

Clothing

For me, clothing and blankets really go together, because we use blankets as a piece of clothing to keep them warm. So while you’re definitely going to take some time and think about what that going home outfit will be, you also want to have some basic everyday outfits that are easy to use and to throw in the washer quickly while you’re caring for the baby before you get to go home. Depending on what season you’re in, this may just be simple onesies or maybe a onesie and pants. It may be a one-piece outfit or an outfit with the opening at the bottom that you can just scoot it up and change their diaper easily. Those types of things are going to be really important. When it comes to blankets, you’re going to want to maybe think about swaddles that can also move over into the sleeping area as well. You want to have some of those swaddle sacs that allow the baby to be swaddled up, so they don’t get that startle reflex and wake up a million times throughout the night. You want to think about all of those things as one category. This is going to be highly seasonally relevant and a highly personal preference. But I would encourage you to do some research on that.

Now, when I was going through my own adoption journey, I know that my friends and family kept asking me how they could help me. They were all really anxious to buy the things that I needed to take care of the baby. The instant we told our parents that we were ready to adopt, they were like, how can we help. Sometimes grandmas just want to buy some things for baby. So I went out and created baby registries. They were on a million different sites, because I liked the Target blanket better, the bottles better at Walmart, the Amazon swaddles, and it became a real hassle and headache to manage all of those different listings. Also, none of them were geared for adoption. 

Instead, I would suggest that you check out Baby List. Baby List has this specific registry for adoption. What I love about that is that they don't make you choose a due date. That is not something that is a part of their process, which is amazing and very adoption-friendly. The other thing I love about Baby List is that it enables you to have one registry with links from multiple different stores. Now, I think that is pretty cool, because if you like this swaddle from Amazon, but yet the bottles from Walmart, you can put it on the list, and people are going to actually go buy those items from those particular places off of your one registry. It makes the process much more simple for you and much less emotional. Click here if you want to check out Baby List’s registry features specifically for adoption.

Now, my friend, if preparing your adoption registry and your go bag is not enough to really calm those anxious feelings you’re having, then I suggest you check out this video so that you can get tips on how to match your adoption more quickly. 

Remember, my friend, you are worthy of support and I’m here with you every single step of the way.