How to Adopt Donor Embryos
When first starting your adoption journey you might feel a bit overwhelmed at all the options there are to adopt a child, or you might not be familiar with all the options that exist. In this article we are going to dive deeper into frozen embryo adoption or how to adopt donor embryos.
Before you dive deep into the options I really encourage you to ensure you have completed the vision exercise so that you can quickly sift through these options to find the one that matches the vision you/your partner have for the journey ahead. If you have not done this refer to the link below to grab your free guide or if you are feeling stuck here schedule a free call so I can help you remove this roadblock.
Just a refresher on how we look at the adoption options. The Options to Adopt break into three main categories, we will discuss each one in detail in various articles on this site but here is a quick overview:
Adopt a baby that you carry
Adopt an infant
Adopt an Older Child
Adopting a baby that you carry and deliver, Embryo Adoption
Yes, I am sure this sounds as strange to you as it did to me when I was first starting my adoption journey but it is possible to carry a child that you adopted. Embryo Adoption allows a biological family that has completed forming their family to choose an adoptive family to give their embryos to which is technically an adoption. Embryo donation is something that is not regulated at the federal level but more at the state level. Some states will call it embryo adoption while others will call it embryo donation, either way it is the same thing.
You might have heard of embryo adoption as snowflake adoptions, this is a typical term used since the embryos are frozen. Or you might have heard of the term angel baby adoption, this definition can get a bit religious in nature so it is often not used by medical professionals to describe embryo adoption.
Obviously to be successful at embryo adoption you must have the ability to carry a child (or hire a surrogate) and be picked by a genetic/birth family. To accomplish this type of adoption you would work with either an agency or fertility clinic to be matched. Each clinic or agency will have its own list of required screenings, background checks, future communication policies etc that are mandated. As with any adoption opportunity it is important to understand the policies and procedures and ensure that is congruent with the vision you set out in your vision casting exercises.
Embryo Adoption tends to be one of the more budget friendly options within the world of adoption if you are able to carry a pregnancy yourself. Typically the costs entail: agency fees for background checks, matching with a birth family, screenings to ensure a high success rate for transfer, storage fees for the embryos, costs to transfer the embryos from storage to the clinic, then the typical costs of a frozen IVF transfer from your fertility clinic. Typical range of costs for embryo adoption is $5-10K plus the cost of the frozen transfer, so total $5-20K. This can often times make embryo adoption cheaper than IVF itself since you are avoiding one leg of the IVF process all together.
The process to adopt a Frozen Donor Embryo
Agency/clinic interview: during this step you would have a conference call or in person meeting with the agency to get a better understanding of the overall process and requirements. If you are already working with a fertility clinic you can explore what embryos they have available for adoption. Typically clinics have waiting lists for these embryos.
Paperwork phase: each agency will have a mountain of paperwork for you to complete which typically includes previous years taxes, medical statements from doctors, reference letters from friends and family, questionnaires on what type of adoption opportunities you are open to, pre-adoption contact preferences and post finalization contact preferences. The list varies dramatically depending on the agency but they should be able to give you a step by step checklist of what you are to complete
Home study phase: yes, some agencies will require a home study but others will not, make sure to ask during your agency interview. If they do require it, during this phase you will be paired with a social worker in your state that will physically come to your home to inspect that it is safe enough for a baby. While it may sound absurd you will need to ensure that your home is child proof at this stage. Typically, you do not need to have a nursery setup but need to have plans of where you will place a nursery. Again, here the agency will have a detailed checklist that you must adhere to, so it is important that you complete that list perfectly in order to be approved. Typically, this home study visit will include an interview where they will ask you questions about how you will parent the child. The questions typically include what life will be like with you on a daily basis, your family history growing up, etc. These background questions will feel unnecessary but it is important so that they can create an overview of what life will be like in your home.
Profile building phase: during this phase you will be asked to create a profile of your family that can be shown to potential birth families to help them get to know you better. This phase is critical as it helps the birth families narrow down their options and ultimately pick a family to speak to and ultimately choose for placement. We will go deeper into how to do this effectively in another article on this blog so check back for more details. If you need help today in this step please email me directly at amanda@myadoptioncoach.com and I can help you today.
Matching phase: once your profile is ready to be shared with birth families you are considered to be a “live” family. This means you can take placement of a child at any time. Typically, the agency will call you and go over each opportunity with you. You will get a review of the medical situation, the communication preferences of the birth family and the financial requirements that need to be met for each opportunity. Once you agree to these requirements you will typically be put into contact with the birth family.
Transfer of the Embryo Logistics: once you have been matched with a birth family there will be a set of logistical requirements that will need to occur to physically transfer the embryo to the clinic that will be implanting the embryo. Some agencies require that you travel to the embryo while others will allow the physical relocation of the embryo to your clinic, again this is something to ask the embryo adoption agency if that is the route you choose.
Mock Cycle: this is a critical step in the embryo adoption process as you want to ensure that the transfer will be as successful as possible. Typically the clinic will require you to take certain drugs to build up the lining in your uterus so that there is a nice “home” for the embryo to embed in during the transfer. During the mock cycle you will be required to go in for an ultrasound so that they can measure the thickness of your uterine lining. Most clinics will also want to do a mock transfer so that they know how to best navigate your uterus. There are tons of articles and tips on the web about how to make this successful, our advice is do what your doctor says. They know how their other patients have found success in this and that is the most important advice you can take.
Transfer: each clinic is going to have its own process of what happens in what order, it is important to follow their guidelines to help ensure a successful outcome. Once the embryos have been transferred you will wait 10 days before the pregnancy test. Yes, I know 10 days is forever but DO NOT take a test at home during this time. All the hormones you are on could result in a false positive or negative and there is no need to stress yourself out if the test doesn’t read positive. Instead keep yourself busy for those 10 days, have a game plan of how to stay busy before the time starts. Have a distraction planned for every day to make the time fly by.
The Finish Line: once you have a positive test you are into motherhood! And while technically the child is of different genetic material, the pregnancy is really no different than any other pregnancy. You may have a few rules that you need to adhere to per the adoption agency but typically it is only to let them know that the transfer resulted in a live birth or to communicate with whatever frequency you agreed to during the matching phase.
Raising the Child: as with all adoptions I highly suggest you know going into this adoption how you will communicate with the child, medical professionals, friends, family, etc how you will talk about the adoption. Sticking to the same “story” can create a positive environment around this topic for your child. There are millions of articles and books on this subject, what is important is that you and your partner feel comfortable in the way to communicate around this subject.
To recap there are 7 Ways to Adopt A Child to choose from and in this article we focused on Embryo adoption:
Embryo Adoption
Adopting an Infant Internationally
Adopting an Infant Through Foster Care
Adopting an Infant with a Private Agency
Adopting an Infant with a Private Attorney
Adopting an Older Child Internationally
Adopting an Older Child from Foster Care
Now that you are more familiar with how to adopt donor frozen embryos the next step is to review the other 6 options and pick a path that matches your vision for your life. And if you haven’t done my vision casting exercise make sure to head back to sign up to receive the Steps to Adoption free download to work through the vision casting exercise.
I know that picking a path from these options can be confusing and overwhelming but it doesn’t have to be. Let’s work together through your adoption process. You need someone that will be in your corner each step of the way. If you are interested in learning more, you can schedule a free call at the link below. We can put together your specific step by step journey through your adoption process, so you can reach your goal of motherhood.
Remember you can do this and I have your back, because after all, anything is achievable with a plan and support.
Hi, I Am Amanda
I help women build their families through adoption by giving them the step by step guide to adopt a child and support them on their journey
