The amount of time that it takes to adopt a newborn can stretch for years and years.  This fact can be overwhelming and hard to understand, much like the overall process to adopt a child in general.  There are so many steps to the adoption process that you are likely to be unfamiliar with if you are just starting.  

If you are struggling to understand the overall adoption process, I recommend that you check out an article that is particular to the type of adoption you are considering.  If you are considering finding an expectant mother on your own and then just finalizing with a private adoption attorney, check out this article.  Or, if you are considering using an adoption agency or consultant, check out this article to better understand how to adopt an infant by leveraging an adoption agency.

No matter which type of adoption you choose to pursue, one thing is true, it will take time, and it is impossible to predict how long it will take.  However, there is one critical element that can make or break your adoption…. Your Adoption Profile.  

Your adoption profile can take many shapes and forms these days; it is no longer just a printed book you make and mail to prospective parents. It can be as simple as a post on social media, a video, a website, or even an email or phone conversation.  The modern-day adoption profile should be thought about as any interaction you have with an expectant mother.  Because any time you are interacting with potential expectant parents, you are essentially advertising your family to them in hopes that you are the perfect match for them.

Now, there is an important word that we need to dissect in that last sentence, advertising.  You must be “advertising” your real and authentic family.  If you are putting together a profile that is only full of things you think an expectant parent wants to hear, that will most certainly end in heartbreak.  It is vitally important to share your authentic family profile with expectant parents to attract the right situation.

Just as they say there is the right mate for every person, there is the right adoption match.  Creating a false picture of you are in your adoption profile will only result in there being an extra layer of discomfort to the overall adoption process either on your part or the expectant parents’ part.  We all know that adoption is hard enough, so don’t do that to yourself.  

I am now officially putting the soapbox back up on the shelf and shifting focus to what is critical for your adoption profile to match faster. However, I do want to spend a moment to talk about “faster.”  I cannot guarantee that you will adopt faster because there simply is no reliable benchmark for how long it will take you to adopt.  However, I can tell you that the more clear a picture you paint of your family, the more likely you will be picked.  That is the simplest way to think of “faster” here, is if people are not engaging with your profile because they don’t understand who you are, it will take a lot longer to get picked.  So let’s talk about how we make a profile that helps tell your story. 

5 Critical Elements For An Adoption Profile That Matches Fast

1. A clear image of you as individuals 

2. What is life like in your community, your home, your family

3. What you want for this child’s life

4. What role will the Expectant Mother play in your child’s life after finalization?

5. Why you are adopting

A clear image of you as individuals 

An expectant mother needs to get to know you as an individual to feel a sense of comfort in choosing you to adopt her newborn baby.  Of course, there are the typical resume type things that you will want to share.  Where do you live, what do you like to do for fun, what is your education, profession, why you would be a good fit, etc.

However, to paint a clear picture of you as individuals, you need to go beyond just the resume type qualifications. This needs to get to the heart of who you are as a person.  What are your belief systems, values, what is important to you and your family, really who are you at your core? Painting a clear picture of you is essential, no matter if you are single or married, to just create that opening a dialogue with expectant parents.  

Getting this step right is critical. If you would like a more detailed step-by-step guide here, click below to join the waiting list for the next time I open my course that walks you through this process.

What is life like in your community, your home, your family

To help you paint a clearer picture of your life, sharing details about your community, home, and family adds an entirely new dimension to your story.  These details help an expectant mother feel more comfortable to choose you to adopt their newborn because they can start to visualize what life is like every day in your world.

When it comes to the community, there are a few details like schools, parks, arts, festivals, and farmers’ markets that you should consider sharing.  What are some of the things your organization is known for, and how do you participate in those things?  Again a moment to remind you to focus on what is authentic to you.  So if you love to garden and attend farmer’s markets, you could share details about those experiences and what you love about them.

Sharing details around your home makes the vision of the child growing up with you more concrete for expectant parents.  You can talk about your neighborhood, where the children would play inside and outside, what you love about your house or neighborhood, if there are other children to play with, etc.  The detail is important, but only to the degree you are comfortable with for a successful adoption for you both.  You don’t have to share the city or the actual address if you don’t want to, but you need to be detailed enough to clear what life is like in your day to day life. 

Family is important to expectant parents to understand, while there will be widely varying thoughts on how much your family needs to be or should be involved.  Again, there is no right or wrong answer; there is only your truth.  Talk about what it was like for you growing up, what experiences you valued, how those experiences shaped who you are today, and what type of role your family plays in your life today.  If you have a perspective of what role you want your family to play in this child’s life, it is also important to share.  Again, be authentically yourself and share your hopes and dreams honestly.  

If you would like to see some great examples of this, click below to join the waiting list for the next profile course that I am offering.

What you want for this child’s life

Sharing the hopes and dreams you have with the child you are adopting may seem disrespectful on the surface, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.  An expectant mother wants to hear about all of the opportunities you can provide for this child, the types of experiences you want to give them, the education, the vacations, and all of the fun things you dream about.  They also want to know all of the ordinary things as well, what you wish to a typical Tuesday to be like, the values and traditions they will grow up with, how you will support them through their life.  

Sharing what you hope and dream for this child’s life gives her a sense of comfort as to what they of human being you will raise.  That you care deeply about their development and wellbeing is a basic building block of what an expectant mother needs hear to know if you are a good fit for their child.

What role will the Expectant Mother play in your child’s life after finalization?

Defining the role you want the expectant parents to play after the finalization of the adoption may seem like a tricky subject to cover.  This is another area where I will push that you to be authentically you and only talk about what you feel comfortable with as you move into the future.  This may seem like a tricky subject to broach in an adoption profile, but everyone should be upfront about what they want the end of the adoption journey to look like.  If the two of you are not on the same page related to the level of contact, openness, sharing of information, visits, etc., it will only create issues down the road after the adoption.  You do not want those issues to spill over to your child at all, so getting clear upfront is important.

It is also important to share how you plan to tell your expectant mother’s story to your child.  How will you talk about their choice to place this child for adoption, what stories will you share about their life, what does the expectant mother want the child to know about her?  I suggest you be clear on what types of information you would like to share with the child as they grow so you can paint a clear picture for them of where they come from as well.  Some expectant parents will want to be super involved, will, and some won’t; some adoptive parents will wish to biological parents to be involved, and some won’t.  Again, it is important to be clear on what you are comfortable with, so you can find the right situation for you both. 

Why you are adopting

Sharing the truth around why you are adopting is can feel super tricky, depending on your circumstances.  You want to be mindful not to add to the burden that the expectant parent is carrying, yet be honest about why you feel adoption is the right choice.  For instance, my adoption journey started after a long battle with infertility.  So rather than getting into the ins and outs of everything that happened during my infertility journey, I just simply talked about it being the best option based on my medical limitations.  When I spoke live with one of my children’s birth mothers, they asked me more about it, and I shared more detail but again was mindful about not making her feel like she had to place her child with me or I couldn’t have a child.  

Some expectant mothers will want there to be a medical reason you are adopting, and others will not care if that is the case.  Again, there is no right or wrong answer. There is only your truth, and that is where you need to stay focused.  Truth without baggage is the mindset I would have when sharing why you want to adopt a newborn through private domestic adoption. 

I hope by now, you have a better understanding of why the adoption profile is important to helping you adopt a newborn through private domestic adoption.  The five critical elements to include in your adoption profile so that expectant parents feel comfortable choosing you to parent their child.  

If you have any questions about your profile or are worried that it isn’t working hard enough to attract expectant parents, I would highly recommend joining my profile class.  After all, it quickly converted for my adoptions that matched in less than a year each time, so I know the framework works based on my own experiences.  

Hope to see you there!

-Amanda

Hi, I Am Amanda

I help women build their families through adoption by giving them the step by step guide to adopt a child and support them on their journey