How to Pick an Adoption Agency
Adopting a child with an adoption agency may seem like the most straightforward, most accessible route for adoption. However, this path still has tons of decisions, and we all know that there is no easy button in adoption. It is critical that you find the right adoption agency that fits your vision of your adoption journey. Before we dive into how to pick an adoption agency, it is essential to know what type of adoption agencies exist to choose the right partner.
There are two main categories of adoption agencies: A traditional adoption agency finds expectant mothers and pairs them directly with hopeful adoptive parents. An adoption consultant works with several agencies representing hopeful adoptive families to determine if that agency has a good match for that family. Let’s take a look at each of them in a bit more detail.
Two Categories of Adoption Agency
Private Domestic Agency
Adoption Consultants
Adoption Agency
An adoption agency’s primary job is to ensure a successful adoption for both the expectant parents and the hopeful adoptive parents. The adoption agency has two clients in the process, the expectant parents, and the adoptive parents. Their interactions with each look pretty different in the various stages of the adoption process.
From an expectant parent point of view, the adoption agency advertises finding expectant parents who want to place their child for adoption. Once an expectant parent reaches out to the agency, they begin counseling the expectant parents on how the process works, understanding what type of support they need to make a successful placement, verifying the social and medical history of the expectant parents (confirming the pregnancy falls in this step as well), and finally getting a clear picture of what the expectant parents want for this child in an adoptive situation.
After this, they will give them several profiles that meet their criteria and identify what hopeful adoptive parents would like to have a conversation to determine the best fit. I fully recognize this last step looks slightly different based on the expectant parents’ desires; some want to talk to the hopeful adoptive parents, and some don’t. From here, it moves into the actual birth and ultimately finalization of the adoption.
From a hopeful adoptive parent point of view, the adoption agency advertises finding hopeful adoptive parents who want to adopt. Once hopeful adoptive parents reach out, they begin to counsel them on how the process works, understanding what types of adoption situations they are open to and feel equipped to parent, what levels of contact they are available to after placement, ensure that they have a stable means of providing for the child, and get them started into the background check process.
It is essential to acknowledge that each adoption agency has its requirements for hopeful adoptive parents that can include: income, social, medical history, background checks, home visit approvals, references. They will also have a home study requirement that may be more in-depth than what state law calls for, so you must clearly understand what each agency requires when considering them to ensure you are a good fit.
Once all the background checks have been completed, the hopeful adoptive parents will work with the agency to create their profile to be shown to expectant parents. From here, both parties move into the conversation stage, birth, and finalization stages. If you want the full step-by-step process for adopting a baby with an adoption agency, you can click here to read more.
Adoption Consultants
The most straightforward way to think about adoption consultants is that they are the hopeful adoptive parents’ agent. They only have one client in the adoption process, the adoptive parents. And their sole job is to work with several adoption agencies to determine if they have an opportunity that best fits what you are looking for in an adoption opportunity.
The adoption consultant will have you complete paperwork to identify what you are looking for in an adoption opportunity, create a profile that they can share with adoption agencies, be home study approved with all the necessary background checks as applicable in your state. Then they will reach out to their network month after month until they find a great fit.
Once the adoption consultant finds a fit, they will present it to you, and you decide if you want to adopt that child and work with that agency. If you choose to move forward with the opportunity, the consultant will have a fee for sharing the agency’s information with you. Then you would work with the agency to meet all of its requirements so that you could be matched with that expectant mother.
So while you are paying the agency consultant fees, which typically are $1,000 -$10,000, you are casting a much wider net than with just an agency so that you will see opportunities faster and more frequent. It is essential to know that agency consultants get paid to match you, not for the adoption to finalize. If the adoption does not finalize, you will have no recourse to get your funds back, so ensure you plan accordingly.
From this step, you would move into the communication, birth, and finalization stages with the agency as they are your representatives from this point forward.
How to Decide Between An Adoption Agency and An Adoption Consultant
At this point, you might be wondering how to choose between an adoption agency and an adoption consultant; the answer comes down to time and money. Which is more precious for you in the adoption process?
It is hard to find industry benchmarks from a time perspective because each agency keeps this information very tight to the vest. But some general rules of thumb are 1-2 years with a typical agency adoption. Covid has had a pretty significant impact on slowing down the adoption industry, and some experts are now saying it will take more on the 2-4 year side.
From a money perspective, adoption consultants require an additional investment beyond what the adoption agency requires. Still, if you are time-challenged, then this is for sure, the “faster” route to go. I say “faster,” assuming that the adoption is successful and finalizes, which is hard to say since there is so much risk in the adoption process in general.
If time is not a factor and you are concerned about spending as much money as the average private adoption costs, you can always consider self matching for your adoption journey. This goes by a million names: finding your birth mother, independent adoption, adopting a private attorney. If you would like to learn more about that, check out this link.
How to Find An Adoption Agency or Adoption Consultant
One of the most common misconceptions about picking an adoption agency or consultant is that they need to be located in your same state, which simply isn’t true. I would recommend that you consider working with an agency that works across the country to give you possible exposure opportunities. However, if you do this, you must be willing to travel for the adoption opportunity and wait out ICPC, which can add cost to your adoption process.
ICPC stands for Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, which means that the state you are adopting from has to work with your state to ensure that you have met all the requirements and continue to do so until adoption finalized. Your agency can give you a ballpark estimate on how long you will need to be located in the state where the child was born before you can go home. We were stuck in an unfortunate situation when our oldest was born; we were in Florida for three weeks, but you know it was Florida, so that it could have been worse.
As it relates to agencies and consultants at this time, I have no recommendations other than the single agency we worked with, American Adoptions https://www.americanadoptions.com/. We had a fantastic experience with them and chose them based on their risk-sharing policy. Be sure to check back on the blog from time to time. I will update and share more about agencies, but for now, I would also suggest reading this article as a reference: https://www.verywellfamily.com/best-adoption-agencies-4844669
How to Determine If An Adoption Agency or Adoption Consultant Is Right For You:
Now that you have a good understanding of what an adoption agency does vs. an adoption consultant and have likely googled a few options, it is time to find which partner is right for you. To determine if an agency is a good fit, there are a few buckets that I would recommend you start with, and then you should add your own.
Transparency: When you talk to the agency, do you feel like they are as open and honest about their company, their process, their fees, their waiting times, etc.? You must trust your agency through the process, and transparency is one of the essential parts of the trust equation.
Communication style: This is 1,000% a personal preference type of thing, but if they do not communicate in your preferred mode of communication, this can be a considerable impediment to your partnership’s success. Do you want updates at specific frequencies? Do they provide that? Do you want to chat via the phone, do they only want to email updates, etc.?
Clearly defined process: An adoption agency or adoption consultant having a clearly defined step-by-step process is essential so that they know where you are headed. Most of them will have a way to do things, but you must understand what steps need to be taken and what order to achieve success.
How to Prepare for a Conversation With An Adoption Agency or Consultant
Think of the initial conversation as an interview; your objective is to determine if you feel like the two of you are a good fit for each other. You want them to want you as a client as much as you want them to be your agency, but your priorities must be aligned. To ensure you are aligned, I would do your research on their requirements, meet them before setting up a call, and then prepare a list of questions to ensure that you fully understand the process.
Here are a few questions to get you started, but grab the free guide below to help you get your thoughts together and help you record all the relevant information from each one of them.
Questions to help you get started:
What are the typical timelines?
What are the fees?
What is the process?
What is your average disruption rate?
What counseling services do you provide to expectant parents and adoptive parents?
Choosing an adoption agency or adoption consultant is a critical step in the overall success of your adoption. You may be super anxious to breeze past this step so you can get into the pool of hopeful adoptive parents but don’t rush this step. As always, if you have questions, reach out to me. I am happy to help!
Remember, you can do this, and I have your back!
-Amanda
Hi, I Am Amanda
I help women build their families through adoption by giving them the step by step guide to adopt a child and support them on their journey
