How To Pick An Adoption Partner
When I was going through my adoption journey, I interviewed several agencies and attorneys until I found the right fit. And I found that this is an area that my one-to-one clients get stuck in a lot. Finding an adoption partner means doing a lot more than just a simple google search. You must find one that is a good fit for your family. Having the right adoption partner can make your adoption journey so much easier.
This post will discuss how you find an adoption partner, what makes an adoption partner the right fit for your family, and I will give you a few resources to use as you interview your adoption partner. Before we dive in, we should probably start with what is the definition of an adoption partner. An adoption partner will help facilitate your adoption either by matching with an expectant mother, taking care of the legal, or supporting you through the adoption process.
Types of adoption partners
Adoption Agency: is a business or organization that facilitates legally binding adoptions between expectant parents and adoptive parents
Adoption Attorney: an attorney specializing in adoption
Adoption Consultant: works with multiple adoption agencies or attorneys to facilitate connections with hopeful adoptive parents
Adoption Coach: educates hopeful adoptive families on the step-by-step process of adopting a child, teaches them how to market their family, and supports them emotionally throughout the journey
What type of adoption partner do you need?
Depending on the type of adoption you are pursuing, you will need some combination of these adoption partners. You will always need an adoption attorney to ensure that the adoption is completed within the boundaries of your state and federal laws. If you are using an agency or consultant, or maybe even if you are self-matching your adoption, you will also need support from an adoption coach. I offer support in the form of a free community, self-directed courses, and 1:1 private coaching.
How To Find Adoption Partners
The first place I would start with is always google, I know you have likely already done this step, but it will help you figure out quickly if they are licensed to work in your state if you are entirely staring at a blank piece of paper. But since you have likely already done this step before reading this, let’s talk about the most critical step, getting feedback on these partner options through the real world. For this, Facebook Adoption groups are the best way to start and stay anonymous, which I would suggest doing first.
I would suggest that you join multiple groups because there are numerous different types of groups regarding adoption. Some groups focus on helping you match, and then there are groups like my group, specifically designed to help you through your journey to be a resource for you. We don’t allow agencies, consultants, or expected parents in the group so that it's your safe space to ask any questions without fear of judgment because that is the number one rule in the group is no judgment zone.
Go into the groups that you're a member of in I would search for those agencies so that you can see what's been asked and shared about those agencies before. Chances are, there's been a lot shared about those agencies that you're considering. And if you don't see the answer to your particular question, I would ask away so you can make your shortlist of partners you would like to interview.
I would create a list of about ten partners to interview because, in the next step, we will narrow down the list a bit so that you can find your ideal adoption partner that much faster.
How To Pick The Right Adoption Partner For Your Family
When it comes to picking the right adoption partner, you need to ensure that you are clear on what they require in families and what you want in an adoption partner.
Adoption Partner Requirements
It is not uncommon for adoption partners to have a list of requirements for the families that they will work with on a regular basis. Most of these requirements have to do with marital status, religion, and sexual orientation. Occasionally you will also see income and BMI requirements as well. So ensuring that you are making your list of potential partners and narrowing it down based on the criteria they require is an important step.
When we were going through our adoption journey, I found several of the requirements appalling and a few of them a bit illegal; obviously, I am not an adoption attorney, but the reality is that they are a business or a private non-profit organization. These are things that they can do, but that doesn’t make them the right partner for my family or me. That eloped some of the organizations move higher or lower on my list of partners.
What You Want In An Adoption Partner
Finding the right adoption partner centers around understanding what you want in an adoption partner. For us, we had a list of characteristics that were important to us during our journey. Things like similar belief systems on the fundamental things (how to treat others, what is right and wrong, etc), how the finances would be communicated and used, what happened to the investment if there was a disruption, and communication style were our most important factors when we were choosing an adoption partner.
So I put together a list of questions that I asked each of our potential adoption partners, and I treated each conversation as an interview. I was interviewing them to see if they were a good fit for what we wanted in an adoption journey and I am sure they were interviewing us as well. For some of these conversations, it took a couple of times meeting via the phone, in person, or even via zoom to ensure I got all of the information I needed to make an informed decision.
If this is an area you would like help in making sure you check out the How To Adopt Course where I share the exact process and questions I suggest you use while interviewing your potential adoption partners.
When you are interviewing you want to pay attention to communication style, cost structures, what different types of adoption they allow you to pursue while working with them, what their average wait time is, how many cases they match on a monthly basis, and get a projection on what they feel your wait time will be during your adoption process. These things are all really important to get an overall sense of how they work as an organization and the size/scope of the expectant parents that they are working with on a regular basis.
No matter what you do friend, make sure you find an adoption partner that is a good fit for your family. One that you know will support you throughout your journey, that you feel is ethical, moral and will treat both parties with respect and kindness.
The adoption journey can be hard and lonely, but remember I am always here to have your back. Just reach out anytime friend.
Hi, I Am Amanda
I help women build their families through adoption by giving them the step by step guide to adopt a child and support them on their journey
