Private Adoption In Nebraska

When you're just starting your adoption journey, understanding the state laws can be incredibly confusing, much less understanding all 50 state laws can feel overwhelming. So, we're starting a new series here on the YouTube and podcast channel, where we're going to be meeting with adoption attorneys in different states so that you can get an overview of the state law and potentially a resource for you to contact should you need to find an adoption attorney in that state. In this episode, we are speaking with Lucrece Bundy and she is an adoption attorney in the state of Nebraska. She will be giving us an overview of the adoption law in the state of Nebraska.

I am so honored to bring back one of my friends and mentors to the adoption space. Lucrece Bundy actually has a YouTube channel of her own. If you haven't already, check that out because she was my inspiration for starting this YouTube channel. She is a wealth of knowledge not only on the adoption process in general, but as well as being an adoption attorney in the state of Nebraska and therefore having a deep understanding of the law in Nebraska. 

Getting to Know Lucrece

Lucrece: Thanks, Amanda. I'm so happy to be here and honored that you asked me to be here and answer some questions. 

Amanda: Well, you're always my go-to adoption attorney. Anytime I have any questions whatsoever, you're the first person I text or DM or email. I'm honored that today we can have you back and talk about adoption laws in Nebraska since that is where you are licensed to practice law. But also, we'll share a little bit more about what you do to help hopeful adoptive families as well. So, as we dive in, I thought maybe just because there's always someone out there that maybe is not familiar with you, I thought I'd give you the opportunity just to spend a minute or two talking about you and your background.

Lucrece: Like you said, my name is Lucrece Bundy. I am a mama of three young boys. They're eleven, eight, and six. I’ve been married to my husband for 15 years, and I started down the road of doing adoption law because, God just placed a heart in me for kids in need, you know, specifically at risk kids. I worked in juvenile court for a few years and got to see how the foster care system works. Since then, I've just been working on my adoption law office and just helping folks finalize their adoptions.

Amanda: That is amazing and your heart is enormous when it comes to adoption in general. But especially when it comes to adoption, I've seen you love hopeful adoptive families inside of your programs, and they always feel super welcome and supported into the adoption journey after working with you. So, thank you on behalf of our community for all that you do for hopeful adoptive families as well.

So today, we want to learn all the things, or at least all the things we can know in a short period of time as it relates to adoption law in Nebraska. And if you wouldn't mind, I would certainly love it if you would just start with a general overview, and then we'll talk about kind of the intricacies of self-matching and advertising and all of that. But I think just to get us all on the same page, just a general overview of how it works in Nebraska would be incredibly helpful.

Overview of Adoption in Nebraska

Lucrece: 2022 was a big year because the adoption law statutes in Nebraska were changed in June. So, there are a lot of good changes that have happened with the law. But generally, newborn adoptions are private adoptions. Basically, you need to follow the law when you're doing it, there is paperwork that needs to be filled out, and notices need to be sent to possible biological fathers. It has to be done a certain way based on the statute. Once everything is done legally like it's supposed to, then usually newborn adoptions can go through the courts just fine. Same thing with out-of-state adoption. If you live in Nebraska, you're adopting at a state ICPC, you have to follow the law and ensure all the paperwork, and everything required by law is signed, filled out, sent out, whatever it is that you need to do so that the adoption can be legalized in court.

Amanda: Awesome. So, you touched on a couple of things there that I want to go back and unpack for the audience. First, as it relates to the process, can you talk a little bit more about the revocation period in particular, because that was one little nuance that I picked up on.

Lucrece: If an expectant mom has chosen an adoptive family to place her baby with, she cannot sign her rights away to that baby until at least 48 hours after she gives birth. 

Amanda: So that's the Nebraska period of revocation? 

Lucrece: Well, no, it's not the revocation. It's just that's how long we have to wait before you can even approach her with the paperwork for her to sign. You have to wait at least 48 hours. The revocation period is a different thing. So, once she signs the paperwork and she relinquishes her rights in Nebraska, there's no waiting time where she can go back and change her mind. So, there's no revocation period in Nebraska.

Amanda: Okay. So, she cannot sign before birth. I know, in some states, that is possible, and just because the type-A person in me wants to ask all the detailed questions is well, the 48 hours, that is calendar-like consecutive hours. So, if it happens on a Friday afternoon, it's still 48 hours from then is when she could sign. 

Lucrece: Yes, that’s correct.

Amanda: Awesome. You also talked a little bit about consent from a birth father's perspective, can you touch on how it works? If he is present or not present during those 48 hours as well?

Lucrece: So, biological fathers have to be notified. Any possible biological father has to be notified of the adoption. There are the statutes, kind of, tell you how to do that, how to send them notice so that they get the proper legal notice that there's an adoption that's going to be happening. Under the law, they have a certain number of days that they have to reply. They can basically say that they're okay with the adoption, or they can say they want to fight the adoption. They have a certain number of days to respond to the notice that you send them. One of the things that is important to highlight here is that sometimes moms are not sure who the father is. It's important for them to identify all the possible biological fathers, and for all the possible ones to be given notice, because, you know, if one of them comes up later, and finds out that she had a baby, he thinks maybe he could have been the father, that could potentially impact the entire adoption. Especially, if you can prove that he was the father. So, it's very important that mom identifies all possible biological fathers in Nebraska and that they are all notified of the adoption so that they can answer and decide what they want to do.

Amanda: Can they notify him before the 48-hour window after birth? Or does that have to wait until after the 48-hour window?

Lucrece: Basically, the way that I do it is I just notify them whenever mom gives them gives me their information. Sometimes we don't know about the dad until mom gave birth. I had a situation like that when mom gave birth and then decided to place for adoption. And so we could only send a notice after the baby was born. In this case, when you send a notice out, he still gets the same number of days to reply and let you know what he wants to do. So, yeah, it doesn't matter if you send a notice before or after birth, as long as he receives notice, that's the most important part.

Amanda: Yeah, that is definitely not something you want to be caught in the middle of. I've had a client who came to me when they were kind of in that spot. Where they didn't know and no one had applied or given notice. And they thought the adoption was final. And now they found themselves in a legal battle, and it was very unfortunate. So, hopeful adoptive families must engage with someone in that state that has passed the bar that is a licensed adoption attorney, and follow the advice to the tee because each state’s statutes, to your point, do vary. And they do update from time to time so, it's really important.

Lucrece: Yeah, I had a very crazy situation. I think it was about two years ago. I can't remember the state now but what happened was my clients went down to the state to pick up a baby. They call me on the way back to Nebraska, and they're thinking oh, well, since we're in Nebraska, we should probably get an attorney to help us finalize this adoption. So, they call me on their way back to Nebraska and they say, we have this baby to pick up the from Wyoming and we were bringing the baby back. And we need an attorney to help us find the law. So, I started asking them the question, Hey, did you have a home study? Who represented the mom, all that kind of stuff? And they said, Oh, the attorney for the mom is the same one who represented us. And I said, How did you know? Like, what? And they're like, yeah, he said that would be fine. He typed up all the paperwork, and mom signed something. And so anyway, he ended up being the attorney, I don't think he's ever done an adoption before. Basically, it looked like my clients could have kidnapped the baby because the mom didn't have counseling. She didn't have an attorney representing her that was separate from my clients. They didn't have a home study, then she didn’t have any paperwork. Nothing was done for this baby to cross the state line safely. The ICPC office wasn't notified. So, it ended up taking us about a year and a half to complete the adoption because we had to do an emergency guardianship, we had to prove to the court that my clients did not kidnap this baby, and mom had to sign off. So, instead of mom just relinquishing the baby, it became this whole thing where she now had to go through the guardianship process and agree to the guardianship and then say okay. Then we had to redo the whole thing. One of the things that when I talk to adoptive parents, is picking the right attorney, because most people I find think that a family lawyer can just do the adoption. So, most people just think I'm just gonna call a family attorney, because surely they do adoptions. Some do, but adoption, it's kind of like immigration law, or criminal law. There are some attorneys that specialize in a specific type of law. So yeah, a family lawyer may have done a couple of actions over the years, but you really want an attorney who's done enough adoptions, we want to help you through the process, because adoptions can get very complicated, and it's very statute specific. And so you don't want to go pick up the baby at the hospital, come back to your city, and find out that nothing you did was right in the first place. Because that puts you in a very vulnerable situation. It means that mom could have changed her mind then, and been like, actually, I don't want this adoption, and wants the baby back, and then they would have been stuck. So it’s important to pick an attorney who is very experienced with adoptions.

Amanda: Yeah, you touched on really important points there that mom needs to have her own attorney and you need to have your own attorney. And one that's just ethical, right? It's impossible for someone to just split themselves down the middle and advise one client and one the other way, that's just you know, common sense. Second, there are different types of attorneys. But even with adoption law, there are different types of attorneys within adoption law as well. Adoption attorneys have specific specifically and are focused on Native American adoptions, as well as the adoption attorneys that are licensed only in certain states. So, it is really important that when a baby is born, that Mom has an attorney in that state, and where you live, and you're going to be finalizing your adoption, you have an attorney in that state, and that those two attorneys talk to each other so that they both understand the laws in each other states so that you are staying on the up and up because to your point, you do not want to be caught in a situation where you're vulnerable, because emotions are on the line, you know, quite honestly, this child is then in kind of a limbo situation. And that's not what any of us want for this child at all. 

Lucrece: Thank god mom didn't change her mind in a situation where that exact scenario happened but in a different state. But what happened then is after the adoptive parents came to Nebraska, mom started talking about this other possible biological father, even beyond hiring an adoption attorney it is important that you follow the advice of the attorney. 

Self-Matching Your Adoption in Nebraska

Amanda: Yes. Once you hire them, especially when we're talking about topics like self-matching your adoption. And so when you're self-matching your adoption, it's you know, to me, your attorney has got to be your best friend, because you really want to follow the exact law as it relates to if you are allowed to advertise. How are you allowed to support the expectant mother? Do you mind touching a little bit on that and how it works in the state of Nebraska?

Lucrece: Yeah, so self-matching across the US is basically the same thing. I mean, you're just finding an expectant mother without the help of a third party basically. You can do that anywhere in the United States. Where a lot of people start getting in trouble is once they do match with someone, that's when they start kind of like, oh, my gosh, what do I do now? Mom was supposed to be with us, what do we do? So, what I usually tell folks is, it's probably better for you to hire an attorney at the beginning of your self-matching journey. You're probably gonna have to pay them more if they're going to just stick with you until you actually finalize. But it's better to just have somebody there, that's your attorney, that when you do get the self-matching going on, they can help you with the process after that, instead of matching, and then not knowing what to do from then on. So, people that live in small cities and counties where there's no adoption attorney. Yeah. And so I've had some people that, they'll say, oh, there's no adoption attorney in my city, there's no adoption attorney within a couple hours of me, well, if you self-match, and then you don't have an attorney to help you, you can't move forward with the adoption. So, my advice is just kind of take a second look around you and see where you can find an inexpensive national attorney first, you may not have to hire them right away. But just kind of know where you can find one if you need it, you know, before you start the self-matching process, so that when you do get to that point where you need one, you know who to call. So, but yeah, the self-matching here in Nebraska works, like I said, the same as it does anywhere in the US. Now, I'm not sure about advertising, to be honest with you, I know that here in Nebraska, the rules are pretty strict when it comes to advertising your adoption. Like your profile and things like that here in Nebraska. So, even here, as an attorney myself, I cannot help adoptive parents match with expectant moms only, only a licensed agency can do that. But in other states, attorneys are able to help you match. And you can also advertise your profile yourself in self-matching. So, states are different on what they allow when it comes to self-matching your adoption. I know in Nebraska, you cannot just put your stuff out there in Nebraska and say looking for a baby, you cannot do that here. 

Amanda: Yeah, I think it's really important what you touched on there was, you know, kind of looking around and finding an experienced adoption attorney around you. But I would say even go one step further, have that initial consultation meeting with them. And just explain, you know, hey, this is what I'm looking to do. This is what we're hoping, to define from a match situation. And these are the ideas of how we want to get started, and how should we best work with you. How can you advise us, sometimes that involves paying a small retainer, right to get started, and maybe there's an hourly charge for conversations, each opportunity will look slightly different. But I would highly suggest it's going to be money well spent, quite honestly, to have those initial conversations. Because to your point, if an expectant mama reaches out and says that she wants to match with you, you don't want to spend the next three weeks then trying to find an adoption attorney. If she's ready to move fast, you want to be ready to move fast too. Now, that's not always the case. But you want to be prepared for whatever curveballs might be coming your way.

So, with the self-matching, that doesn't mean that, you know, if you told all of your neighbors and your co-workers that you're adopting, and then you just kind of get a call from a friend one day saying, hey, my cousin's pregnant. That's a private self-matching opportunity. That's not you putting your stuff on Craigslist in Nebraska, or Facebook, or whatever else. We're talking about public advertising, that's what's not allowed in Nebraska. But you just spreading the word out to your friends and family, your community. I mean, that's allowed anywhere, you know, there are no laws against that. It's public advertising that's not allowed in Nebraska. 

Do you know, if it’s allowed for people that live in Nebraska to advertise outside of Nebraska?

Lucrece: You know, that I don't know. I know that in Nebraska, you can't do it. I would think that when you're doing it outside of Nebraska, you'd have just to follow that state's law that

says so. 

Supporting Expectant Mothers in Nebraska 

Amanda: We do have a guide that links back to state statutes. Again, I'm not an attorney. But you're always welcome to check that out over on the blog, read those yourself, and then have conversations with adoption attorneys in those states if you're unfamiliar or unsure of that. So, I'd like to shift our conversation into just kind of understanding how Nebraskans are allowed to support expectant mamas in the state. Are there any laws that they should be aware of? Or is it best handled on a case-by-case basis? Am I talking with their adoption attorney to understand what they're allowed to do. 

Lucrece: Yeah, it's better to talk to an adoption attorney because it is on a case-by-case basis. One of the things that always fluctuates here is the adoption expenses. How much can you pay to a birth mom for pregnancy-related stuff. That's always up for debate because the statutes will tell us you can only pay for XYZ. I just say that you can pay for pregnancy-related expenses. That can mean anything pregnancy-related. So, every case is taken case by case. That's why again, having attorneys involved is important because sometimes what happens is, when you have a private match going on, and after enough, I've done a few of these where mum knew the adoptive parents, and they were friends. And so in that kind of friendship, if they've already been kind of helping each other financially, things like that, once the match happens, and she says, Okay, I want you to have my baby, because I trust you. They can still, you know, go shopping and buy clothes, not thinking through. Wait a minute, this is now a different situation. We used to do this before but now this can look like we're buying the baby because I'm taking her shopping for pregnancy stuff. And she asked me for money because her car had broken down and she couldn't get to work. And we're helping her pay for rent and things they've already done, just as friends before have to change once a match happens. And so, again, that's why it's important to have a professional because the professionals can say, I don't know if that we can really qualify that as a pregnancy-related expense. Again, as friends. I mean, we can't mess with the friendship, right, like as far as you can kind of do. But when it comes to the pregnancy-related stuff, it has to be something where you start getting professionals involved. So, I mean, it's just it really is a case-by-case basis. My personal opinion is that you don't want to operate in the gray area, you want to operate with guidance and with, you know, following the law because again, you just don't want to put anything in jeopardy, because you don't want there to be any impact to the baby in the end. 

How Lucrece Helps Hopeful Adoptive Families

Amanda: Right. Well, I'd like to shift into just speaking more about how you work with clients. And I know you also have other resources for hopeful adoptive families that aren't in Nebraska as well. Do you mind sharing a little bit more about that with our audience?

Lucrece: About two years ago, I just had a situation that pushed me to start this program that I have now called the Adoption Success Accelerator. So, what happened here, as I showed earlier in Nebraska, attorneys cannot help hopeful adoptive parents match with expectant moms, only agencies can do that. So, what was happening with my law offices, thankfully, and so honored to say this, only one of two experiences stories in Nebraska. So, as you can imagine, I get a lot of calls from hopeful adoptive parents, especially for newborn adoption. So, I was getting so many calls, and there was nothing I could do because they were looking for, hey, can you help us match? And I'm like I wish I could, but I can't because I'm not a licensed agency. So, I would tell them, hey, here's a couple of numbers for agencies to kind of call around. Once you get matched, call me, and then I can help you finalize the adoption. And so one of those couples came to my office, I think it was back in 2019, and they were a young couple that had been married for one year and they wanted to adopt a newborn. That was their dream. And they had been together for about seven years, and they had just gotten married. And so they were like just starting the adoption journey. They found my information, came and I sat down with them and I told them the same thing that I said to all the other hopeful adoptive parents. So, about two years later, I decided just to check in on them. And I hadn't done that before for other parents, but they just made such an impression on me. So, I followed up about two years later and I was shocked by what I found out. They told me an adoption attorney out of Florida had scammed them, and they had spent all this money for nothing. They had called a bunch of agencies and they were being told they were being they were being rejected because they had only been there for a year. So, they didn't realize that there were so many rules and all that stuff with adoption. So, they gave up pursuing it and had spent 1000s of dollars since two years later. I was so shocked because I was thinking, there's no way adoption is that hard. I do this all the time, like it doesn't. You spent how much? You know I was just so shocked and taken back by all the information. So, because of Tom and Molly, which is the couple, I decided, gosh, I want to go figure out what it is. What happened? Like, what is it that they were learning online? Like, how did they get themselves in this situation? So, I started doing some research on my own. And I was shocked to find out how much misinformation was out there like YouTube, Facebook, Google. And just there's so many pieces of information. But there, there wasn't anything that was streamlined for people like step one, step two, step three, step four, and how to actually mold the adoption process to your own circumstances and situation in life. So, you can actually go through it without wasting a ton of time. And especially without wasting money, you know, it's gonna cost you money either way. But I mean, you don't have to waste money making mistakes, you know, right. And so that's actually how I came up with the adoption program. I wanted to find a way to help adoptive families so that people like Tim and Molly, they're just so sweet, who were just like, we just want to grow a family, they can actually have a blueprint to follow, and not have to go through what Molly and Tim did, you know. 

Adoption Success Accelerator

Lucrece: It's called the Adoption Success Accelerator. It's for any adoptive parent, all across the United States. You don't have to live in Nebraska to go through it. What it does is helps you from A to Z, and just teaches you how to go through the adoption process successfully. And do it without unnecessarily wasting money, and time as well. And so in the program, I mentor the families and just kind of teach them how to go through the adoption. I've had so many successes, it's been amazing to see families bringing their babies and just cutting off their losses, like some of them who were working with agencies before had spent 1000s of dollars, and they came through the program, and within a few months, they were matched and they brought the baby home. So, it's been really incredible working with adoptive families in that way. So, that's the other service that I provide for families right now.

Amanda: That is amazing. How can families that are actually in Nebraska that need an adoption attorney? What's the best way for them to get in touch with you as well? 

Lucrece: Yeah, I mean, I am on social media, and you can just type in my name in Google, and you should find my law office. It's pretty easy. YouTube is probably the easiest way to find me, I've got tons of videos. They're just free information for folks who want to learn more about adoption and how to go through the process. 

Amanda: I highly recommend your YouTube channel all the time. It's a great resource. It's a resource that I consult quite often. When we met for the first time, I told you that I was totally fangirling. Because I was like this is so cool. You were my inspiration for getting brave enough to start my channel was like, okay, I can do this. I've watched your videos to prepare myself to get the courage to do it. Again, I highly recommend you check out Lucrece’s programs, but thank you again, Lucrece for being willing to join us today and give us part of your day. 

I trust that this conversation was incredibly valuable. I can't say enough about what an amazing person she is and a resource for our community. I do suggest that you check out her YouTube channel and the Adoption Accelerator Success program so that you can get support throughout the entire adoption journey. Remember, you are worthy of support, and there are amazing resources in this community that have your back every step of the way. We'll see you soon friend.

Disclaimer: The information contained herein is not to be considered legal advice. We are not attorneys. Should you wish to hire the attorney mentioned in this post, please contact them directly.

Hi, I Am Amanda

I am an adoption profile expert on a mission to teach you how to adopt and help you create and share your family's story more affordably!