Self-Matching Adoption Outreach Guidance

If you are self-matching your adoption or matching with birth parents without the help of an agency, you might be unsure how to determine if it is an actual matching opportunity. The most challenging part of the independent adoption process often is determining if it is a match or scam. Then if it is an opportunity, you must decide whether or not this is a good fit, and years of trained social work are incredibly helpful in that process. In this article, we are talking with Steffany Aye from Adoption and Beyond, who offers a service that helps determine if you are a good match for each other. Steffany and her team have really stepped up to help hopeful adoptive families through the self-matching process through a program that they call private adoption outreach guidance.

About Stephanie

Steffany is the founder and executive director of Adoption and Beyond, which is a licensed child-placing agency in Kansas City. They help adopting families and expecting moms work on their adoptions. Steffany is also an adoptive mama, so she can relate to others going through the adoptive journey. She has five children, one of which she adopted from foster care when she was eight and who just turned 21. So that is how our daughter joined our family. If you are looking for any resources on home study, Steffany is your go-to expert. 

Adoption Outreach

Steffany offers a new adoption outreach that I think is an excellent compliment to hopeful adoptive parents that are looking to self-match their adoption. This outreach perspective focuses on two pain points that many adoptive parents face. The first being, where do you share your adoption profile, and the second is what to do once someone reaches out to you. Adoption and Beyond is here to help families be able to identify whether the expectant mom that's reached out to them is going to be a good fit for them, and then once they determine they're a good fit, they help you navigate through the following steps. Steffany says, “There are so many other steps that need to be done moving forward. So we're here to help fill that gap.” Her agency even has four pages worth of checklists of things that we go through on how to help a family with an agency adoption. They are bringing this out into the world and teaching families all the tricks and secrets that an agency uses to be able to work with an expecting mom from start to finish, and so you don't miss a step.

The Adoption Outreach Process

There are several steps that we take a family through during the adoption outreach process. The first step is how to screen an expecting mom to make sure she's a good fit for you and vice versa. They also discuss how to get things like proof of pregnancy during this step. Then they go through how to identify red flags and things that are concerning. 95% of the time, it's going to be a great match, and it's going to be a great mom. But there's that 5% that are just bad apples out there. They help ensure that you are in the right match and not being scammed. During this step, they also get the attorneys in place. This is very important because if an expecting mom does not want to meet with the attorney, then that's a red flag. They help the adoptive family identify attorneys in the area where the expecting mom lives because that's most likely where the adoption is going to occur. 

In the next step, they help the adoptive family develop a relationship with the expecting mom. They are there to hold your hand as you maneuver the time period before the birth. They also help the adoptive family gather the social history and medical background, and help the family develop a hospital plan with the expecting mom to know what to expect at the hospital. During this time, they will also help look for resources to help with post-placement support.

Helping Adoptive Families Build Relationships

One noteworthy aspect of Steffany’s adoption outreach process is it really focuses on forming a relationship between the adoptive family and expectant mother. Instead of wondering ‘is it okay to ask this? Or is it okay to disclose this and all of those things?’ you have someone who is experienced helping you with all of those questions. They know precisely what questions are appropriate and which ones should be left. For example, the more complex questions that should be left for the attorney. They are there to help adoptive parents discern which are the appropriate questions to ask and who should ask what. This is important because adoptive families want to protect the relationship that they are forming with the expectant mother. You always want to approach the situation with love and respect, but there are some things logistically that you do have to work through. This is why it's essential to have the right professionals to help you to walk through those steps. The licensed social worker aspect of it is vital so that adoptive parents are forming healthy relationships from the beginning that they can keep as they see fit through the finalization of the adoption.

They also help navigate all of the hospital details. This is important because families sometimes have a hard time with the hospital because this is probably her lowest low point of her entire life. While on the other hand, this is one of the highest points of the adoptive families’ life. They are there to help you balance the emotion of feeling guilty, overwhelmed, and happy.

Learn More About Adoption and Beyond

I hope you are as excited as I am about this new opportunity that Steffany shared with us. This is really going to help you if you are self-matching your adoption. If you’d like to learn more about Steffany or Adoption and Beyond, I encourage you to listen to the full podcast interview I had with her. You can also check out her website, that goes into all of the details about her adoption outreach program. 

Don’t forget to check out the profile tips and resources that I have to help you during your self-matching adoption journey. If you have any questions, I encourage you to ask them in the Facebook Group! As always, please remember you are worthy of support in your adoption journey, and you can do this. I've totally got your back every step of the way. 

Hi, I Am Amanda

I help women build their families through adoption by giving them the step by step guide to adopt a child and support them on their journey