Adopting a newborn through private adoption can feel about as hard as trying to catch a unicorn by its tale, but I promise it does not have to be complicated.  I know I struggled through my domestic adoption journey, which was full of uncertainty and loneliness.  So that I started My Adoption Coach, so I could help you learn from all my mistakes and all the mistakes that have been shared with me over the years.  I believe that anything is possible with the right support and guidance anything is possible.  So that is why I am obsessed with creating the step-by-step process for private domestic adoption.  

One of the more difficult things to tackle in the adoption process is creating your adoption profile.  The adoption profile is so important because this is the sole point of contact you will have with a prospective expectant mother before she decides to reach out to you or not.  While there is simply no magic formula for anything in the adoption process, there are a few tips to make your adoption process easier that seem to be pretty universal based on my clients’ experience.  

Before we dive into what she is looking for in an adoption profile, we should discuss an adoption profile so we are on the same page. The modern-day adoption profile is no longer just a printed version of something you create and pass out, but rather successful adoption profiles take many different types these days.  You should be thinking about every possible way you can share your profile and be most effective in those other formats.  

Adoption profiles most often show up as a social media post, video, website, and traditional adoption profile book.  Now, I am sure that if you are still in the profile creation or the profile perfection stage of your adoption journey, that list might have felt a little overwhelming.  But don’t worry, as with everything in the adoption process, I have a step-by-step process to make your adoption profile creation process easier and make it so amazing that it helps you stand out from the sea of waiting families.  If you want to learn more about that, click below to join my waiting list for the next time I open up The Adoption Masterclass.  The class only opens up a couple of times a year, so you want to sign up ASAP so you don’t miss out on the next window.

What An Expectant Mother Is Looking For In An Adoption Profile

1. A Clear Picture Of Your Family

2. Similarity To Her Vision

3. Things That She Cannot Provide For A Child

4. A Stable Home Environment

5. Unconditional Love For This Child

6. Sense of Home

7. What Her Role Will Be In The Future

A Clear Picture Of Your Family

An expectant mother is looking for a clear picture of who you are and what your life is like.  You have to remember that she has zero ideas of who you are as a person.  The only thing she knows of you is what she sees in a post on social media, on a website, or in a book, and she is making a huge decision in her life.  She must see similar themes across your profiles as she gets to know you.  She is looking for proof of who you say you are by what you share and post.  So if you talk about being a sports-loving family, she will expect to see that show up in some posts or your profile.  

Similarity To Her Vision

She has an expectation of you in her head. Just as you have a clear picture of what your life is like with this child, she has a clear picture of the life she wants for this child. She is looking for those similarities in your profile to that picture she has in her head. 

It is important to note that your job in your profile is to be authentically yourself. Your job is not to provide what she wants to see because that will only backfire on you and potentially cause a disruption down the line. The adoption process is fragile enough that you do not want to do anything that could cause a disruption intentionally. 

The goal in your profile being authentic is so that you attract the right expectant parents. Attracting the ones that have a similar vision of this child’s future is easily accomplished if you are clear and authentic in your profile. 

Things That She Cannot Provide For A Child

This might feel a bit icky when you first think about it, but expectant parents are looking for the type of life that you can provide for a child that they cannot. An important distinction is that this does not have to involve money.  There is no perfect list of things you can provide for this child, nor should I list things out in your profile. Instead, this should come to life through what you share in your profile and posts. Sharing your hopes and dreams for what life is like for and with this child is the most natural way to accomplish this. 

A Stable Home Environment

Stability is one of the elements that birth mothers often comment on as essential to the selection process. They want to know that this child will have a stable home life, school, family, etc. It is often ironic to hear adoptive families talk about how boring their life is and how they have nothing interesting to share to attract expectant parents. At the same time, some expectant parents are looking for just that, a boring everyday life because that screams stability to them. 

Unconditional Love For This Child

While this may seem like a no-brainer to you, like so necessary, you wouldn’t include it I your profile, or that sharing how much you will love this child would be hurtful to the expectant mother. It is something she needs to hear.  She needs to hear that you will love this child no matter what, that being adopted doesn’t make this child less than in your eyes, that blood is irrelevant when it comes to love. She also needs to hear that the same holds for your extended family and friends. She wants to make sure that this child will be surrounded and protected throughout his/her life, and love is a critical element of that. 

Sense of home

When an expectant mother is looking for an adoptive family’s profile, she looks for a sense of home for this child. She wants additional details to add to her vision of your home. This goes beyond just what a photo of your home’s exterior. She wants to know more about your community, what you like to do for fun, and anything else she can use to help paint her mental picture of what life would be like in your home. 

Will, the child, have their own room, a backyard to play in, any pets, any parks, or other children to play with at their home. She is trying to paint herself a story of how great life will be with your family, and she needs you to provide the paint by numbers guide here. 

What Her Role Will Be In The Future

Most importantly, she is also looking for more detail on her role in this child’s life. Not all expectant mothers want to be involved post-placement, but you both need to know what the other party is seeking a post-placement agreement.  Even if she is looking for no contact or minimal contact after birth, she looks for how she will be discussed with the child. Even expectant parents are nervous and worried about this process. They worry about what you will think about their decision, what you will tell the child as they grow up, and how they will feel about being adopted.  You both must be on the same page on this topic to enable a more successful adoption. 

The combination of these things, along with a million reasons, some of which we will never know, is why you will be picked.  To survive your domestic infant adoption journey, you need to make peace that there will be some factors you can never control.  So, I found it essential to focus on what I could control: my preparation, focus, and best adoption profile that accurately reflected who we were as a family.  If you would like my exact step-by-step instructions to build an adoption profile that will help you convey who you are, sign up to get on the waiting list below.

Remember, you can do this, and I have your back!

-Amanda

Hi, I Am Amanda

I help women build their families through adoption by giving them the step by step guide to adopt a child and support them on their journey